warmth

Last night was a rather rough night for me, there were lots of tears feelings of the unknown and my fear of not being good enough kicked in. I felt very lost, and really worried so i decided to pray, something I am not always the greatest at... and i balled through the whole prayer because i could feel the sense of peace and love as i was saying the prayer, a gentle calmness came over me and an extreme warmth of love. During the prayer I asked for assistance in the fast that I am doing today, and preparing myself ahead of time for the fast has made a world of difference already i know that i get to be prayerful and that my questions will be answered! I am so thankful for this blessing and the love and support i feel from my heavenly father! Today it is going to be a good day with lots of love and joy.

Quotes

"A child in a farm looks up, sees a plane flying overhead and dreams of a faraway place. A traveler in the plane looks down, see the farm house and dreams of home. That's life; you'll never realize the value of something or someone unless it is taken or moves away from you.... so be happy and start enjoying what you have now!!!!"

"BE OPEN.... and let life bring you joy and inspiration. Sometimes, by saying NO, you're depriving yourself of what could be a happier life."

"PRAY... its the only thing that will solve your problem."

"LIFE is an adventure in forgiveness."

"SOMETIMES, YOU NEED TO STEP OUTSIDE, GET SOME AIR, AND REMIND YOURSELF OF WHO YOU ARE AND WHO YOU WANT TO BE."

"do things with passion or not at all. Whereever you go, go with all your heart."

????

Have you ever made a decision and been so clear about the decision that u forgot how hard it can be and that there are things that are going to stand in ur way. Last year I made the decision i was going back to Church, I was getting married in the temple and i was making that my life! All along the way forgetting that the devil is going to play up on that now more then ever. Life has come at me fast and i miss so much going on cause it is easier this way.

This weekend I looked into someones eyes and knew my heart was walking outside my body, never in my life have i felt so strongly about something. My heart says go and my head says NO. How do u look at someone and know without a doubt they are the one u are going to marry when u just met them, how can u know something so simple after a couple hrs. How is that even possible.

How do i tell him that without him being like what the heck! what is this life about? where do i go from here

WHAT DO I WANT & WHAT I AM CREATING!!!!!

To many of you this languge and use of words might make little sense but to those who know what I am talking about thank you for helping remember this and what is important to me! Tonight I decided to take a look at my life from a different view i got down to the level of a child and played on the play ground and just let my pure innoncence come out so that I could take a look at how simple life can really be if I only let it! I decided instead of constantly saying what I dont want I get to say what I do want and what I am creating... So... I made a list. and just took time to remember some of the small things that I tend to forget!!! Alot of this is what I want in my relationships seeing as i tend to falt and slip there. So here it goes....

I want someone who I can laugh and cry with. Someone who accepts me for me. I want an open honest relationship, chemisty. I want security. I want a friendship. I want hugs and kisses sleepless nights fill of cuddling under the stars i want companionship i want financial security I want passion. I want to be supported and loved appreciated, I want to be called beautiful. I want to be told I am missed, I want to be missed, I want cute text messages on my phone when I wake up in the morning or after an afternoon nap. I want phone calls during the day asking if i am ok, I want to know I am enough, I want to trust my instinct. I want to enjoy the small things and not rush for the big ones. I want to see the good in someone, I want to see the good in myself. I want to make memories that last a life time. I want to smile even when it is bad . I want to love everyone equally without condition and i want to be loved equally without condition. I want to cook dinner next to the one I love and clean up together after. I want to clean the house together so it goes faster and we have more time to spend together doing the things we love. I wat to cuddle on the couch and watch Monday night football. I want to dance in the club til my heart is content. I want to kiss in the rain and count all the starts in the sky, I want to have water fights in the middle of winter and pillow fights in the dead of night. I wat to trust in the moment and just see what tomorrow brings. I want to be happy. I want to raise a family and build a dream home for them to grow up in. I want to find the things that bring me peace. I want to share my life with someone (a man) I want to always remember "I am a BEAUTIFUL, CARING, POWERFUL Women."

WHAT I AM CREATING IS:

I am creating open, honest, relationships with myself and those around me by providing an authentic, loving, open, warm, trust space. I am creating healthy relationships that bring job, trust, and oppertunities for growth. I am creating a powerful warm atmosphere for future generations to grow up in. I am creating a beautiful, open, trusting, safe realtionship with a man. I am creating a loving, vulnerable, honest, open, warm, safe space for myself to continue to learn and grow. I am creating a healthy life style full of longjevity and life that will teach measures of weightloss and mental rehabilitation. I am creating wealth in numbers to survive and assist those around me. I am creating a new job doing things I love. I am creating continued learning and success. I am creating a life full of abundence; an abundence of pure love, wealth, trust, growth, and transformation. I am creating a safe and secure me....

So after I wrote what I want and what I am creating I decided to take my "I am" statement and analyze what each word really means to me and what they represent when I say them. At first this was really hard for me it was hard to think of what i see as beautiful, what that defines that and why I think that word is me.

What does my "I AM" statement mean to me??? " I AM A BEAUTIFUL, CARING, POWERFUL WOMEN."

BEAUTIFUL:

*glowing

*special inside and out

*different/unique

*vibrant spirit

*makes others feel good

*inspirational

CARING:

*puts other first

*want to make change for the better

*sees past imperfections

*loving

*trusting

*good listener

*helper

*worries about others

*attentive

*takes interest in others

POWERFUL:

*Influential

*life changing

*strong

*creator

*successful

*compelling

*effective

*courageous